Last night, ABC news posted a teaser video in which it declared that their anchor, David Muir, will have exclusive access to today’s Apple event. ABC is running a special event on the announcement today. This is not all that big a deal. For a TV network that hasn’t accomplished much compelling programming beyond a M. Night Shyamalan remake of Castaway, getting a back stage look at an Apple event is pretty neat, especially when the bar is set so very low.
But the ABC teaser goes one step too far in promoting this exclusive, calling Apple’s event “historic”. Excuse me? I must have been trapped in a room full of open paint cans again, because I thought that video said “historic.”
In a world of smartphones already surrounded by pithy rhetoric, ABC manages to go even beyond the realm of bad taste and call a device launch event “historic”. Ok, listen up ABC, you want to call this “magical” even though that’s BS, fine. If you want to call this “amazing” even though that’s BS, fine. But if you want to go so far as to put this event on the same level as, oh, I don’t know something actually historic like Roe vs Wade or Rosa Parks, man oh man you better be sure.
Let’s not forget, this is a news organization talking about this event being historic. This is ABC News. This isn’t Pocketnow, or another tech blog whose entire world revolves around tech. Pocketnow could potentially argue that an event was historic from our unique point view, but even then we’d be wrong and stupid.
The fact of the matter is, there is nothing that Tim Cook could announce today that would be historic, except perhaps a successful peace negotiation in the Ukraine or, I don’t know, a Slash/Guns N’ Roses reunion tour. So let’s cut down on the rhetoric for the event that is already going to require a thesaurus or two, hmm kay?